What is Love?

>> January 4, 2009

I always feel so stupid writing in my diary about boys.

Why? Because my view of love is all wrong. I've never actually been in love, so I don't know what it is. What I do know is that what I think is love is nowhere near what love actually is.

In 7th grade I thought I loved one guy. Not long afterward, I thought I loved another guy. Just a few months later, I thought I loved still another guy. Currently, sometimes I think I love yet another guy. That is not love. None of it is really real.

I think that part of truly loving someone is wanting to grow old with them. True Love isn't something you can "fall out of." Any "love" that can change so quickly, unexpectedly, and abruptly is not love at all, but merely an unhealthy infatuation.

I'm pretty sure that most of us have experienced such infatuations. We tend to meet a person, find ourselves attracted to them, and then fantasize about our life together and our perfect relationship and our perfect wedding and how many kids we'll have, even though we barely know them. Later, we realize that that person is a jerk and we were just wasting our time.

I'm not saying we shouldn't be attracted to people. After all, attraction is one of the first steps toward true love. Attraction is not bad in and of itself; its "badness" (for lack of a better word) is based on what we make of it. Attraction does not have to lead to infatuation.

The opposite of love is selfishness. Infatuation and lust are forms of selfishness, because you are seeking to please yourself by your unrealistic fantasies instead of pleasing God by looking out for the other person and helping guard their heart.

I wish it were easy to control our emotions toward other people, but the honest truth is, it's tough. Anyone who has had a "crush" knows this. What we need to do is to TRY to prevent these things. Unfortunately, we'll never be able to prevent infatuation on our own. We can't do anything without God except maybe sin. We have to trust in God, and ask for guidance, as well as help with guarding the hearts and minds of ourselves and those around us.


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